Isn't that Life

Once upon a time used to be the most acceptable way to begin stories of this nature, but times change and life moves on away from fairytale bluster and so must we—
Begin here in the middle of the tale for the ending is too long away and the beginning too broken to call it anything but a confusing calamity of events that serve no purpose to the reader than to just introduce you to the characters and setting and stage. Let us carve the fat aside for the meat and get to the heart, the part you are ready to see, if not taste.
There once was a girl—
But wait. This is the same vein as before. Something trivial and contrite, done a thousand times, how is this any more satisfying?
All right then.  How about this? The boy crouched beside the bubbling brook, dangling his homemade fishing rod in the cold water while the sun glinted off the surface, blindingly. Is this more to your liking?
Is it really my liking that needs to be addressed? Besides, you have completely changed the story, it was a girl before. Or was it always a boy? This setting is too general, too done. Why, I could name a dozen stories alone that include this tripe.
Isn’t that life?